Never Ending Story

Honestly, I have no words. He made a tinder. I’m kind of conflicted about the situation. I’m not sure how I feel about him having a tinder.

I made one the other night. Well, actually I already had one months ago, but I deleted it. The other night he made me upset, so I logged back into mine again. We were supposed to hang out, but of course it never happened. He is trying, ever since I gave him the hint about taking my chances back and others. I told him I would make one and he saw that I had. I want him to know I’m not playing around.

He didn’t tell me he made one. I found out when I was swiping. At first I was mad, but then I thought, “What if he liked me, what if we matched?” I was kinda freaking out. I decided to like him or swipe right and we matched. At this point, I was shaking my head laughing and mad at the same time.

Why did he make a tinder? Did he make it for me? I think it’s cute if he did it for me if not then, I’m mad. I really want to ask him these questions but then I don’t. What if he’s talking to other girls? I told my friend and asked her about it. She thinks that he did it for me. I’m not sure.

What do you guys think? Do you think he made one for me? Do you guys think I should ask him about it?

Song #4

Secret

Verse 1

Here you are
Standing in my way
Pretending like were nothing

Here I am
I’m drowning, and you don’t even see
Open your eyes
And look at me
Look at me

Chorus:

Am I
Am I your secret
Baby, I don’t wanna be the only one that knows
Why are you trying to hide me
Are you really that ashamed
Please tell me
I need to know the truth

Verse 2

I’m tired of playing your game
I can’t do this anymore
I want this to end

Your breaking me
Breaking me
Things will never change
You will never change
Stop trying to convince me

When you came back and saw me for the first time in months
You acted like I wasn’t even there

Repeat Chorus:

Verse 3

Do you see
Do you see right through me
Cause I feel
Nothing
Nothing at all

Repeat chorus:

Am I
Am I your secret
Baby, please tell me
I don’t wanna be the only one that knows
Why are you trying to hide me
Are you really that ashamed

Please tell me
I need to know
(repeat 2x)

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Dear Diary #2

I’m a mess. I wish someone could fix my broken heart. I was strong when I didn’t see him and now that he’s back, I can’t deal with it. He’s like an addiction I can’t quit, but I need to walk away. I don’t know how.

If I could talk to someone right now, I know exactly who it would be. His best friend. He has no idea about us, but he is an incredible person. I need his help and his advice right now, but I probably won’t see him again. He got a new job, so he won’t back for the summer. I’m happy for him, but I need him. He was always there when I needed him in the summer. He was the one that pulled me aside and talked to me. He cared and I needed that.

I’ve decided to go to Petland tomorrow to pet some puppies because I need to distract myself. Everything reminds me of him and it’s killing me. I want love and I’m never going to get that from him. Why do I want him so badly? I know that he’s bad for me and I keep hurting myself. I don’t know why. I’m so sick of it. I don’t expect things from him anymore. When he makes plans, I hope that this is finally going to be it, but I don’t expect it because nothing ever happens. I’m so tired of hoping.

“See you calling again
I don’t wanna pick up, no, oh
I’ve been laying in bed
Probably thinking too much, oh, oh

Sorry I’m not sorry for the times
I don’t reply, you know the reason why

Maybe you shouldn’t come back
Maybe you shouldn’t come back to me
Tired of being so sad,
Tired of getting so mad, baby
Stop right now,
You’ll only let me down, oh, oh
Maybe you shouldn’t come back
Maybe you shouldn’t come back to me”

Shouldn’t Come Back By Demi Lovato

Basketball = Love

This week is pretty awesome. Basketball starts up again on Thursday. 🙂 I’ve been waiting for this week for a while. Those of you that don’t know, I love basketball!  I’m obsessed with it. I don’t play, but I love to watch. I’ve always loved basketball. My brother used to play and I always supported him. My co-workers play too, so I support them as well. Some people think it’s strange I go, but I’d rather be there and watch it then on TV. I do watch it occasionally on TV.

I help out with the scoreboard some days and that’s fun until I mess up. I like hanging out with the people there, which are mostly my co-workers and mostly guys, but I enjoy it.

Have an awesome week!