Dear Diary #2

I’m a mess. I wish someone could fix my broken heart. I was strong when I didn’t see him and now that he’s back, I can’t deal with it. He’s like an addiction I can’t quit, but I need to walk away. I don’t know how.

If I could talk to someone right now, I know exactly who it would be. His best friend. He has no idea about us, but he is an incredible person. I need his help and his advice right now, but I probably won’t see him again. He got a new job, so he won’t back for the summer. I’m happy for him, but I need him. He was always there when I needed him in the summer. He was the one that pulled me aside and talked to me. He cared and I needed that.

I’ve decided to go to Petland tomorrow to pet some puppies because I need to distract myself. Everything reminds me of him and it’s killing me. I want love and I’m never going to get that from him. Why do I want him so badly? I know that he’s bad for me and I keep hurting myself. I don’t know why. I’m so sick of it. I don’t expect things from him anymore. When he makes plans, I hope that this is finally going to be it, but I don’t expect it because nothing ever happens. I’m so tired of hoping.

“See you calling again
I don’t wanna pick up, no, oh
I’ve been laying in bed
Probably thinking too much, oh, oh

Sorry I’m not sorry for the times
I don’t reply, you know the reason why

Maybe you shouldn’t come back
Maybe you shouldn’t come back to me
Tired of being so sad,
Tired of getting so mad, baby
Stop right now,
You’ll only let me down, oh, oh
Maybe you shouldn’t come back
Maybe you shouldn’t come back to me”

Shouldn’t Come Back By Demi Lovato