Dear Diary #6

I want it to stop. I’m sick of the pain, the crying and the pressure to just push through it. It’s only been six and half weeks after my knee surgery, but I’m tired of all of it.

I know I have to work hard and get my knee bending again, but it’s tough. I absolutely hate going to physical therapy and yesterday, all I wanted to do was to go home and be done. I was mad, upset and frustrated. I felt sick because I cried so much it hurt. I keep going back and forth saying ‘I’m glad I did it’ to ‘What was I thinking’? I just want my life back. And I know the only way to do that is to keep pushing, but the pain is too much. I don’t want to deal with it anymore.

It’s not that I don’t have the motivation, I just need more of it or something to take my mind off the pain. I can’t relax. Now, if Chris Wood would be standing at my front door, maybe I’d have more motivation. That’s a yes, definitely a yes.

What should I do? How do I get passed all this?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s