Dear Diary #6

I want it to stop. I’m sick of the pain, the crying and the pressure to just push through it. It’s only been six and half weeks after my knee surgery, but I’m tired of all of it.

I know I have to work hard and get my knee bending again, but it’s tough. I absolutely hate going to physical therapy and yesterday, all I wanted to do was to go home and be done. I was mad, upset and frustrated. I felt sick because I cried so much it hurt. I keep going back and forth saying ‘I’m glad I did it’ to ‘What was I thinking’? I just want my life back. And I know the only way to do that is to keep pushing, but the pain is too much. I don’t want to deal with it anymore.

It’s not that I don’t have the motivation, I just need more of it or something to take my mind off the pain. I can’t relax. Now, if Chris Wood would be standing at my front door, maybe I’d have more motivation. That’s a yes, definitely a yes.

What should I do? How do I get passed all this?


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