I want to stop caring, but I don’t know how to do that. Right now, I feel lost, and I don’t know what to do. My knee pain is coming back again, and sometimes all I wanna do is cry, but I can’t most of those times.
There are some days where I wanna say what the hell, but, if I do, the pain will come back. Two weeks ago, a kid asked me to run with her. I said you start, but I never went with her. My body wanted to say yes, but my brain said no. I shouldn’t have to think about it. I never had to think about it two and half years ago.
I just feel like working this many hours and doing this job makes my knee act up again. I want to start over and adjust, but I don’t know how. My boss doesn’t know about the car accident or my injuries that happened two and half years ago. I was afraid that if I told my workplace again that I wouldn’t be hired. I just feel like I have to change professions to stop the knee pain. I hit my breaking point a long time ago, mainly because I thought the surgery was supposed to fix everything, but apparently not. I mean, I know the doctor said it may or may not work. I know I’m not 100 percent, but I thought I’d be able to do my job without pain.
I honestly have no idea what to do anymore. I’m going back to the doctor, but there isn’t much he can do. I am beyond frustrated at this point.
On a side note, I hope everyone is having a good weekend.