I wanted to talk to you guys about the song I wrote and posted the other day. Also, to give you a little update as well. A lot of people will have different interpretations of the song, but to me, I know what it means and what I was trying to say.
The song Will You Be The One, is about what happened last year. It’s also about how I feel. Just a recap, I was in a bad car accident a little over a year ago and I have injuries to both my knees.
I see the doctor this week and were going to talk about where we go from here. I’ve had a brace on for six weeks. The doctor wanted to try that before deciding on surgery, but my guess is that I’ll end up doing the surgery anyway. The brace is temporary and I just want to be done with all of it, pain, annoyance and problems at work. And thinking about how aggressive the surgery is if I do it, for me is scary, and I want to do it, but I don’t. I keep asking myself in my head over and over again, is it worth it, which is what it says in the song.
I think for me, it is worth it because I work with kids and I’m only doing half my job, which makes me upset and angry. I feel bad when I tell them no, I can’t play with them.
One day, I had to tell a kid no, and I could see the disappointment in her eyes. After work that day, I went home and cried because of how upset and angry it made me feel. I hope that if I do the surgery, it fixes everything. I guess I’m just praying that things will go back to normal after that. And in some weird way, I’m asking for help because I am a terrible decision maker. I also want to know if it’s a good choice and if it will work out.
The only problem I have with the surgery is that it’s extremely aggressive and recovery is a couple months. And I will probably be in a lot of pain, which won’t be fun, but I just want the pain to go away and have it stop interfering with my life. So, I have a big decision to make.
Thanks, guys! Have a great day! 🙂